#eva eight

[sneakboots]

I benefit so much from media showcasing the reality of sisterhood. Which is why I believe that my love for Eva Nine and Eva Eight is so strong. They represent the transition of growing up in similar circumstances but dealing with them differently. They represent using the breaking down of childhood and choosing to create their adulthood from the ground up because of their past. They represent navigating a changing sister relationship through those transforming adult desires and wishes. And that’s where the divergence come in.

There is so much you have to let go of when you become your own person, and that includes relationships. Sometimes diverging paths lead to a different type of bond, and that is so hard to go through when you realize that you are no longer good for each other, at least in the forms you used to be. I think that everyone who experiences sisterhood (through blood or through close friendships) deals with this in one way or another, and that is why seeing this type of thing represented in media is so important. Learning how to cope with the person you thought you had everything in common with metamorphosize into someone who doesn’t need you to play the role you always have in their life is soul crushing but somehow so beautiful.

[dracocheesecake]

Spoiler Warning For the Wondla Books

...Ok, so are we not going to talk about how Eva Eight dated Hailey's dad (Evan Seven)? Are we going to gloss over that? And that he didn't abandon her, he got eaten by sand-snipers? And Eva Nine and Hailey were almost adopted siblings?

[old-fashionedword]

Eva Eight rolls WORST JOINT EVER. Asked to leave NEW ATTICA

[fennelwasp]

Au @indigo-constellation and i were talking about where Daniil is hbomberguy

[starencrustedtinfoil]

WONDLA SWEEP

Round 1, Poll 4: Goosebumps vs The Search for WondLa

[mafufuu-2-with-cheese]

ultimate nerd and ultimate eboy or smthn

[abirdie]

Films that I couldn't drag eight gifs out of...

Gael García Bernal in The Limits of Control (2009, dir. Jim Jarmusch)

Gael García Bernal (uncredited, and they changed the audio from his original Rudo y Cursi vocal) in Vamps (2012, dir. Amy Heckerling)

Gael García Bernal in Salt and Fire (2016, dir. Werner Herzog)

Gael García Bernal in Acusada (2018, dir. Gonzalo Tobal)

Gael García Bernal in It Must Be Heaven (2019, dir. Elia Suleiman)

Gael García Bernal in The Mother (2023, dir. Niki Caro)

[other gael filmography gifsets]

[autumnalfallingleaves]

Why am I just now realizing that so much of my favorite media involves clones??

[aisubekibungou]

new and improved limbus x a3 assignments

[divatheeva]

sometimes I think people underestimate HOW stupid I can get actually

[evangelical04]

A Single Daffodil || 1

Summary: Getting arranged to be married to your long-time crush wasn't exactly the fairy tale romance you were hoping for. Nor is the dynamic of the marriage, with your husband treating you like you don't exist. But you're going to make this work, whether he cares about you or not. And he definitely doesn't...right?

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Rating: 18+ minors DNI

Word Count: 2.7K

Genre: angst, romance, unrequited love, smut, enemies to lovers, arranged marriage au, businessman yoongi

Warnings: parental trauma, sibling trauma, toxic parents, unrequited love, explicit language, alcohol usage, yoongi's kind of mean, future smut

Author's Note: hello! i'm Eva and this is my first fic on tumblr ever! I've been a reader for so long and I've always wanted to write my own stories, so I figured I finally would. I know it’s kind of short but I promise the other parts will be longer. Please give me any feedback you have and let me know if you'd like there to be a tag list or anything! I hope you guys like it!! p.s. I'm totally posting this instead of doing my morphology homework that's due in 15 minutes

masterlist / next

The door to your childhood home looked artificially welcoming. There were too many flowers lining the walls encasing the looming wooden door. The grass on the lawn just was a bit too green without a blade out of place and the paved walkway was freshly powerwashed and missing even a speck of dirt. You let out the deep breath you were holding and gently took hold of the overly ornate bronze knocker adorning the painted wood of the door. Two loud thuds rang out as you knocked and the door quickly opened afterwards.

“Hello, Miss Y/N, your parents have been expecting you.”

“Yes, I know. Thank you, Mrs. Oh,” you responded quietly, nodding at the grey-haired woman. She shot you a sympathetic smile before ushering you in, taking your coat and carefully laying it over her arm. After removing your shoes, you followed her past the foyer to the living room where your parents awaited. 

You knew what was coming, you knew that this had been decided long before you were born. Yet, you still felt unprepared. You had grown comfortable, living in your simple apartment in Gangnam and your quiet work routine. Biting your lip, you reprimanded yourself internally, You should’ve brought this shit up in therapy before it happened.

“Here we are, Miss Y/N,” Mrs. Oh said, snapping you out of your self-pity session. You nodded gratefully at her, sending a small smile her way. Her eyebrows wove together in her own pity-ridden expression and she quickly whispered, “Good luck,” while exiting swiftly. You steeled your nerves and forced your chin up high, knowing that you’d most likely cower inwards as soon as you faced your parents anyway.

Stepping into the room, you noted the almost intervention-like setup your parents had arranged themselves in, with your father sitting proudly in his reclining, leather armchair, clad in a dark blue quarter zip and khaki pants. Your mother stood facing the fireplace, arms crossed, in a simple and elegant turquoise dress and hair tied up in a tight and neat bun, with her baby hairs smoothed back to prevent any imperfection. You could almost imagine her pinched mouth, forever encased in a stern and unamused expression. 

“Hello father, mother,” you started, trying to smooth the slight trembling in your voice. Your mother turned around, eyes narrowing at your form, “Sit down.”

You promptly obeyed.

“Your father and I have decided on your marriage. It’ll be to the Min family, to Min Yoongi.”

“What? To him? But,” you began protesting but your mother quickly cut you off with a steely glare. 

“It has already been decided. Your wedding will be in eight months. I’ll forward you the invitation list and you can add three people of your choosing. You’ll be having dinner with us and the Min family on Friday at six. I’ll have Yujin send you an email with further details. Don’t be late.” 

You looked to your father in a desperate plea but were only met with stony silence and a passive face. You turned back to your mother and registered the composed expression painting her face. Your fate had been decided, and it had not worked in your favor at all. Rising slowly, you set your hands by your side and bowed towards your parents, “I understand. I’ll be there.”

Your mother swiftly exited the room, evidently deciding the conversation was over. You could hear her dangling earrings tinkling against each other in what felt like a mocking melody. Your father calmly produced a cigar from the table next to him and lit up, no longer acknowledging you either. You let out another slow breath and walked out. 

Collecting your coat from Mrs. Oh, who tried to give you a comforting shoulder squeeze but it felt more like condolences than anything, and made your way to your car parked in front of the gate closing off your parents’ home. 

That’s it then.

You felt eerily calm yet stressed as you started up your car and carefully reversed out, making sure to avoid hitting the carved statues your parents had in front of the iron gate. As you drove home, your mind started racing with the information you had been relayed. 

Min Yoongi as your soon-to-be-husband? What irony.

Does he even know you exist?

Will you be able to survive this?

Hand gripping the steering wheel hard, you quickly dialed the most recent number in your contact list. She answered after only two rings.

“Y/N! Are you still alive? How’d it go?”

“Hi Joohee, not great. I’m completely and totally fucked.”

Joohee chuckled on the other end of the line, “Want to come over?”

“Yes,” you breathed, “I was hoping you’d offer.”

“I’ll get the booze.”

“Min Yoongi? Now that’s ironic,” Joohee chuckled, seemingly at your expense. You shot a glare her way which she shrugged in response to.

“How long have you been crushing on him? This is, like, practically fate. Maybe this’ll be a good thing.”

You scoffed in response, “A good thing? Joohee, be serious. The last thing I want to do is get with my long-time infatuation, not crush, by forcing him to be my husband.” You took another swig of wine. It was a cheap pink Moscato, perfect for nights like these with Joohee. 

Joohee shoved a pillow in your direction in an effort to gain more room on the couch you had stuffed yourselves onto. The trash reality dating show you had on in the background was showing a rather dramatic fight but you paid it no attention, “It’s just…I haven’t talked to him in the last, what, five years? He probably doesn’t even remember me. And you’ve heard the rumors, I don’t think he’ll be exactly thrilled at giving up his playboy lifestyle just because he has to marry me.”

“What if he doesn’t give that up?”

You stared at Joohee in slight surprise, “What do you mean?”

“Like, what if he says that he doesn’t want to stop hooking up with other people? What will you do?”

Your brows furrowed as you considered the question, “I don’t know, I guess. I mean, I can’t really stop him. I guess I’d just have to live with it.”

Joohee hummed in response before continuing on, “Well, this is happening whether you like it or not. Just try to make it amicable at the least. Maybe it’ll work out, you never know. Just look at Jin oppa.”

Kim Seokjin, Joohee’s older brother and a friend of Min Yoongi’s, was arranged by Joohee’s parents to marry Song Yeonhee, and the two had seemingly fallen in love after a rocky start to their nuptials. You had seen them recently at Yeonhee’s baby shower and she had been glowing, looking unbelievably happy. You recalled the loving gaze that Seokjin had sent her during the party and the pang of envy you felt, knowing that you would likely never get to experience that. 

“Yeah, well,” you responded, “He’s an outlier. Most of these types of marriages don’t work out. I have a feeling I’m going to be a part of that group.”

“You’re too negative, you haven’t even met him for dinner yet. Maybe he’ll surprise you. You just have to give him the chance.”

You mulled over Joohee’s words and nodded, “Yeah, maybe you’re right. I guess I’ll see how Friday goes.”

You weren’t technically late. 

While you still had about 5 minutes before the dinner officially started, you weren’t early, and that was unacceptable by your mother’s standards. A mini emergency at your job had left you scrambling to leave on time, only noticing the late hour when one of your coworkers asked if they should order take-out for the team. After profusely apologizing to your team, they encouraged you to go, practically shooing you out the door, claiming they could handle the situation for now. 

Which left you barely on time to park in the lot outside the ridiculously fancy Japanese restaurant your mother’s assistant, Yujin, had sent to your email earlier that week. You quickly stepped out, smoothing out your dress that you had kept in the backseat of your car and had hastily changed into in the parking lot of your office. Tugging down the hem, you took a moment to look at your reflection in your car window and attempt to look more presentable. Your hair was slightly frizzy but nicely combed back, and you had extremely minimal makeup on from only remembering last minute this morning, and your eyes looked tired. 

You felt tired.

Shaking off your nerves, you headed inside the restaurant giving your family name to the hostess who took you back to a private room where your mother and father were waiting. Your father spared you only a cursory glance before returning his gaze to his phone and your mother looked you up and down before uttering a curt, “Hm.” You held in an eye roll and quickly sat next to them, trying to calm your heart rate for the sure-to-be exhilarating dinner ahead. At six on the dot, you spotted the same hostess leading the Min family towards your table. Your mother stood, welcoming them and urging them to sit down. You stood as well, a little less welcoming, a lot more obligated. 

Mrs. Min looked like the epitome of a rich older woman with dark black hair combed back and glittering jewels lining her ears and neck, complementing the midnight blue gown she had on. Mr. Min was dressed quite similarly to your father, in a simple suit, the only difference being his starkly greying hair providing quite the contrast to his dark blazer. Close behind them was the person you were the most anxious about meeting, Min Yoongi. His pitch-black hair complemented his slightly tanned skin nicely and his feline eyes remained straightforward and untelling. He was dressed in a simple black suit as well with an expensive-looking watch adoring his wrist. His mouth was closed tightly and he did not smile at your mother when she greeted him, not at your father when they sat down across from your family, and certainly not at you.

Your hands nervously played with each other in your lap as you took your seat again. You listened quietly as the mothers exchanged pleasantries and the fathers gruffly greeted each other. You were trying to avoid looking at Yoongi as much as possible.

“So, Y/N,” Mrs. Min started, making you startle to attention, “How old are you now?”

“Twenty-nine, ma’am.”

“Ah, so only a bit younger than Yoongi. That’s good then. How is your work?”

You felt your father stiffen next to you and prayed your discomfort didn’t show on your face, “Good. I’m in the middle of producing a new project with my team.”

“How lovely. Although I’m sure you’ll be leaving that soon after the wedding. You won’t need to work then after all,” Mrs. Min smiled at you. It was hard to read her so you couldn’t tell if she was being genuine or not, though if you had to guess, it was likely the latter. Your job was a point of contention with your family. Choosing to work in a video game production company did not go over well, and if your older brother, Kyungsoo, hadn’t been in line to inherit Seo Industries, you would’ve never been able to keep it. 

You smiled awkwardly in response to Mrs. Min and returned your gaze to the empty plate in front of you. 

As the conversation dragged on, you couldn’t help but steal a glance or two at Yoongi, who was periodically checking his phone and looking permanently bored of the conversation. Not that you could blame him. The dull talk of social circle gossip and work was beginning to get grating, and even the introduction of fancy entrees wasn’t enough to stop your stomach from feeling queasy. 

Yoongi had yet to say one word to you. To be fair, you hadn’t said anything to him either, but he had barely looked in your direction since he entered the private dining room. How exactly were you supposed to start a conversation with that? 

Soon after the desserts came out and were finished, with you politely refusing, feeling like you were going to throw up any second, Mrs. Min suddenly pushed her chair back and stood. She looked down at you and Yoongi and announced, “Well. I think we can leave them to talk on their own for a bit. Why don’t you join us for a drink at our home, Eujin-ssi?”

At the sound of her name, your mother stood, nodding, “Yes, that sounds lovely. Let’s let them get to know each other a bit more.” With that, the parents swiftly gathered their belongings and left, before you could even protest, leaving you staring open-mouthed at the exit. 

Slowly, you turned to face Yoongi and were startled, seeing his eyes already boring into yours. 

“Let’s get one thing straight,” Yoongi stated, his deep and stable voice wrapping around you for the first time that night, “This marriage means nothing to me. It shouldn’t to you either. I’ll do my thing and you do yours. Most importantly, stay out of my life except when necessary. Just because my parents are forcing my hand doesn’t mean I have to adhere to every little thing. Nothing will be changing except for our living situation and a ring on our fingers.”

A little stunned, you could only stutter a passive agreement and watch as he rose and left without sparing you another glance. 

Letting out a deep breath, you closed your eyes, trying to understand what had just transpired. Your heart raced as you quickly stacked up the dishes to be a bit easier for the busboy and quickly made your way to your car. Sitting down in the driver’s seat, you vaguely registered Min Yoongi’s cold demeanor towards you.

It seems he didn’t remember you after all.

The dress you had on was itchy, but you knew if you complained, you would only end up with a sharp stinging on your cheek and tear-filled eyes. You had escaped the boring party with grown-ups and were sitting outside on a stone bench in the garden, trying to remedy your hurt feelings at the hands of the mean, older boy, Hyunsoo. 

He had confidently poked fun at your appearance, saying the dress was a bit too small on you and that your parents should’ve sprung for a size that could fit an elephant instead. He continued on, saying your parents must’ve forgotten to vaccinate you for measles considering all the red spots on your face that were actually acne. Being a tender twelve years of age and going through the worst bits of puberty, his words hit you hard and you quickly ran from the scene into the garden. 

Unable to contain your tears, they slipped down your face in large droplets and soaked into the front of your dress. 

“Hey, you.”

Startled, you looked up to see a boy a couple of years older than you standing in front of you, black hair shining in the light from the garden lamps. His sharp eyes trailed down your tear-stained face. You quickly turned away in shame, not wanting to undergo any more embarrassment tonight. 

“Hey, snot-face.”

You shot him a glare but softened when you saw his hand extended, holding a handkerchief, his face turned slightly away, “Use this. You look ugly while you’re crying.”

You gingerly took the cloth from his hands and blew your nose, noticing him wince out of the corner of your eye. 

“Thank you,” you managed and he only rolled his eyes in response. 

“Yeah, whatever. I think Joohee’s looking for you,” he grumbled before turning on his heel and stalking off back towards the party. 

Confused, your eyes followed after him, not knowing how he knew that Joohee would be looking for you. You unfolded the handkerchief and noticed an elegant embroidering of three letters in black near the bottom, MYG. 

Oh, you realized, Min Yoongi. Joohee’s older brother was friends with him but you had never seen him before. Joohee had described him as kind of rude and quite closed off, but you disagreed. He certainly didn’t seem that bad.

masterlist / next

[sneakboots]

Eva Waiting

“I’ve remained in this dreadful place waiting for you.”

[unwantedshivering]

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

HEADCANONS for KEVIN KATCHADOURIAN as you try and figure out what he truly feels about you.

MASTERLIST

WARNINGS: mentions of reader death, emotional manipulation, overall toxicity

FOR: Kevin Khatchadourian

NOTES: @slasherscream totally inspired this, their characterization of kevin made me want to write for him !! :) this is entirely too long to be considered hcs btw

HOW IT STARTS

Truly, you believed he hated you. Why else would he stare as though he was trying to telekinetically explode your head? It’s a wonder how you even started hanging around him. It wasn’t necessarily out of your own volition, really, as you were just the Khatchadourians’ neighbor tutoring and hanging out with Celia in exchange for your sibling receiving archery lessons.

You grew up practically adjacent to Eva’s household, so it was just a small, kind gesture you’d do when you visited from college. You remembered that weary, worn down visage of hers from your childhood and let it pull at your heartstrings. You were sensitive, and perhaps that’s what drew him in.

You were watching a kid’s movie with Celia, and unbeknownst to you: Kevin was eyeing you.

He wasn’t usually home, off in his room when he wasn’t attending his own classes. Quiet. Off-putting as he would taper down the creaking steps, barely acknowledging your presence before leaving. Usually he’d grab an apple, glance over you as if you were nothing but air.

It was intriguing to you. Kevin had always been intriguing to you. He was unnaturally, uncannily pretty. Like a bust set on display within his own modern-century home, you couldn’t touch or manage to decipher him. It was embarrassing to say he had been the face of several boyfriends in your silly teenage dreams.

It was pure happenstance as he came down just in time to watch as you hiccuped during the movie, tears streaming down your face. Celia was long-gone off in dreamland on the couch.

It wasn’t enthrallment that Kevin felt. It wasn’t even want. It was a sick, morbid curiosity. Celia, despite her humanity, wasn’t entertaining to Kevin anymore. Not as she was when she was eight and entirely naïve, cut bare in her love for her big brother.

You gave him something new. He halted in his steps. For the first time in simply years, you heard Kevin speak to you.

“Stay a little bit longer.”

Through your own bewilderment, you agreed. Kevin had no reason to continue his sweet, loving son act. Not really. Still, he smiled something that could only be described as honey. It was drenched in a sickening sweetness, something with a bite. A bit of blood in his teeth.

He took you archery shooting. It was way past the acceptable time for you to be in the Khatchadourian household, and yet you stayed. Fly wrapped in silk. Bug to be eaten, saved for later.

It felt magical to be the center of Kevin Khatchadourian’s attention. In school he was a little misunderstood and disconcerting, but nothing truly horrific happened. It was that same quietness he displayed that made him so elusive, so lovely to you.

He displayed amazing skill when it came to archery, a terrifying mastery. You only chuckled nervously when it whizzed past you, making your hair stand on end and fingers clench.

“I’m sorry,” he said, yet it was low, accompanied by eyes that seemed anything but apologetic. “You should really stand on the side, I must’ve overshot it.”

HOW HE IS IN THE BEGINNING

As you continued staying longer, mutual exchange forgotten, he grew more and more expressionless. The most he would usher you was a glance under firm eyebrows, a wry little twitch of lips when you did something particularly amusing. You felt like a piece of brain tissue on a petri dish.

Kevin was actually scarily kind to your sibling and family though. It was like a flip-switch: he went from helping your mother with carrying dinner to silently staring at you, trying to pick apart your body, all smiles and good-boy mirth gone from his eyes. Most of the time, he fiddled with his technology as you did your own thing. Reading? He’d be clicking away, his incessant typing as your white noise. Crochet? Doing it outside as he practiced archery. Talking? He’d stare to let you know he’s listening.

Unfortunately, this still left you neglected. Initiating physicality was on his own terms, and you’d get a quick look before being brushed off if he wasn’t into it. Speaking about your troubles with him is met with silence. At the beginning, it was even met with slight condescension and mockery. One step forward? It didn’t matter, Kevin himself was never going to be able to fulfill all of your needs.

It wasn’t as if you didn’t have other friends. Most of them didn’t know Kevin. If they did, they didn’t speak of him to you; speaking of him made you jittery, a little doe-eyed, but you always spoke of him fondly. They could never understand why.

Kevin knew all your friends. You were at a house party, introducing them with a blinding grin on your face. He disliked them. If there was one thing he held other than apathy, other than wanting to feel more than he’s capable of, it was the need to harbor your attention. You were his only source of anything. You were clearly fond of him, no matter how strange or unnerving he showed to be. You talked seamlessly and mindlessly about your interests. He knew sunsets were pretty, but because he saw them through you. He knew what cafés were the best, what to get his mother for a gift when Frank pressured him to.

In the same breath, Kevin resented and found himself thinking often on that part of you. There wasn’t a way he could name it, but the feeling was dull. It stung a bit, hearing you speak about anything outside of his reach. He liked the sting somedays: it was proof he felt. Other than his heart thrumming in his ears, he felt something other than disdain and unadulterated anger.

He hated feeling jealousy, though.

It was quiet like the rest of him. Your friend, Matt, kept pushing. It was becoming sickeningly obvious that he thought of you more than a friend, and yet whether it be your own denseness or the fact that you’d known Matt since forever, you didn’t stop him. Not the meaningless touches on your arm, not the compliments on things only Kevin thought he’d noticed about you. Sick. Sick. It was that old, juvenile anger he felt spike again.

There was a barely there acknowledgement of the fact that you were attractive. He found you attractive even faintly. Then, there was the notion of your attractiveness shoved in his face. Others found you attractive.

His family already assumed you were dating. You hung around too often for them to not believe so. Your friends? They didn’t know. Before this, Kevin didn’t necessarily care whether or not you were called his significant other or the person he kept around. It was only then where he realized the perks of you being his: no Matt.

It was impulsive. He kissed you. It was under the porch light after Matt hugged you goodbye, and as he started to pull out of the driveway Kevin ducked in for the kill. It was impulsive, a bit too strong, and left you lightheaded like you drank more than you should’ve. Being with Kevin was like being an alcoholic.

There was an emptiness in his eyes as he pulled away. He didn’t even hold your cheek, he simply ducked forward. You felt… odd. Confused and a bit embarrassed that you let him do that simply for his own whim. What you didn’t see were the indents of Kevin’s fingers in the cup he was holding onto the entire time, the way he fiddled with the lighter in his pocket, the way his jaw clenched.

WHY STAY

There’s a certain value Kevin placed on you. You don’t know if it’s that of a toy, lover, or a third scarier option. There’s a big chance you’d never know either.

What you do know is that he’d give you his jacket when it’s cold, and surprisingly he’d take off yours for you when you enter his house. It’s done so casually that you forget it’s typically uncharacteristic of him.

He played nice with Celia when you were around. He played nice with your family, to the point where you might even misunderstand and believe he wanted them to think highly of him.

Kevin could be awfully kind. It’s never a kindness for the sake of it, but it only ever distinctly shows itself around you. If you were ever sick or vice versa, you’re spending all your time around him for the day.

If he had the fever, he’d push his forehead against yours while you’re both lying down, lazily breathing with his eyes closed. If you were the one ill, Kevin sits on the bed instead, placing one hand on your hand or your forehead. It’s a cool, light feeling. His hand is large enough for it to fully encompass your face if he so wished, or at least your neck, and yet he chose to be gentle.

He doesn’t like the idea of you being special to him though; the fact that you’re exempt from even some of his antagonizing ministrations makes it frustrating. You shouldn’t be. You were something he hung around and dated technically, so the idea of you actually being the definition of a significant other made him heavy in the chest.

If you show that you like the idea of being special to him, at least in the beginning, it’s easier for him to pull away. Whether physically or emotionally, he can shut off completely from you. Deciding to stay is what does it for him. How can you stay? Even with all the silence and work it takes for him to do anything?

His kisses grow less rushed. They’re even somewhat experimental later on. Kevin doesn’t really know if he likes it, but he knows you do. A nip at your lip, eyes closed, fluctuating pressure. He’s a fast learner. He’d pull away prematurely, waiting to see how you’d react. Usually he’d just walk away afterwards like nothing happened, but if he’s feeling the reactive impulse to he’ll duck right back in.

Kisses with Kevin leave you panting. Sometimes you believe he truly is attempting to steal your breath, and he might just be. He has more often than not almost let the arrow hit you when you watch him practice archery. It never does, but it’s always close. There’s a furrow in his brow afterward, like he’s examining how he himself feels on you almost dying by his own hands.

He has also more often than not found that it leaves him annoyed.

[fishfooddude]

Yes I Would

Part 2 of the Worm series!

Technically, I'm not done with finals, and this is probably gonna be a four-part series because it got hella long...

The Bear MasterList

Directory

Part 1

“Carmen, it’s 2 AM. Why did I need to come out here?” Richie yawned as he sat on a stool by the bartop next to Carmy. He didn’t respond to the question. Richie shot him a look, “Kid. What’s going on?” 

“Y/N’s pregnant.” Carmy softly responded as he brought his beer bottle to his lips. 

Richie sat up, dumbfounded by his response. “You knocked her up? Didn’t realize your balls dropped already.” 

Richie’s attempt at lightening the situation made Carmy roll his eyes. “Fuck off, Richard.” 

“Nah, cousin. That’s great. She’s a good girl. I figured you’d settle down with her at one point… maybe sooner than anyone expected, but that’s great.” Richie rambled, “One time- you were like two, so I doubt you remember, Mike and I were throwing beer caps at you-”

“She doesn’t want it, Richie,” Carmy said, cutting Richie off mid-sentence. He stared at the ceiling as he spoke. 

“Please say something, Carmy…” your voice was shaky as you spoke. Carmy clicked his tongue as he pushed his hands through his hair. He nervously laughed as he looked up at the ceiling. “Carmy?”

“Okay… okay. Is this a discussion?” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re tellin’ me you’re pregnant and that you don’t want it in the same fuckin’ sentence, Y/N. Why are you even fuckin’ tellin’ me if you don’t fuckin’ want it?” 

You stared at him, dumbfounded by his reaction. “Carmy, we’ve only been together for eight months-”

“So?” Carmy scoffed, “I love you. Would it be the end of the world if you had my kid?” 

“Carmen,” you scolded, “Are you seriously equating our love for each other to my willingness to have a baby with you?!”

“Babies aren’t always planned but-”

“Carmen! It’s my fuckin’ body!” you yelled, cutting him off. “Just- just get out.”

“So yeah… not sure what to do…” Carmy mumbled as he fiddled with his napkin. 

Richie sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He remembered when Tiff told him she was pregnant with Eva, granted it was planned, and the two had been married for a decade. Richie didn’t know what to say to Carmy. He just sat beside Carmy and remembered when he was five or six. Mikey was in charge of watching him while he played in the yard that afternoon. 

Richie and Mikey were sitting on the porch steps talking about something that had happened at school a few days prior when Carmy came running up to the pair with a rock in his hands. “L-l-look Mikey! I-I fou-und a rock!” Carmy excitedly stuttered. His eyes gleamed with excitement. Richie watched as Mikey went to ruffle Carmy’s hair and took the rock from his hands, “That’s a cool one, Carmy. Find another, yeah?” Mikey encouraged. Carmy nodded and ran off to a different part of the yard. 

Richie leaned an elbow against the bar, supporting his head in his palm. He looked at Carmy. He remembered all the times he and Mikey had been able to make him feel better. He remembered when they had to take Carmy to the emergency room when he was eight and broke his arm when he fell from a tree. He remembered when he and Mikey would go to his wrestling meets. He remembered shoving him in the closet and refusing to let him out until he admitted to having a crush on some girl in his class when he was in high school. He remembered watching him sheepishly walk across the stage when he graduated high school and watched Mikey sneak cash into his backpack when they dropped him off at the airport when Carmy left for culinary school. Carmy was more than his best friend's little brother. He helped raise that kid. 

“Sometimes, you have to fight for what you want,” Richie said, finally breaking his silence. Carmy looked up at him, “You can’t make her have the baby, but you can’t walk away without a fight, Carm.”

Carmy scoffed at the advice, “Richie- She kicked me out of her place when I tried talking to her about it. She doesn’t want to keep the baby, and I don’t think I can support-”

“Shut the fuck up, Carmen.” Richie cut him off. He shifted in his seat to face Carmy. “You were man enough to have sex with her. You need to be man enough to stand beside her and support whatever decision she makes. Abortion, no abortion, having the baby and giving it up for adoption, keeping the baby and staying with you, whatever that girl chooses; you give it your 100%.” 

Carmy grimaced at the advice Richie had given him, “Sober up. Go see your girl.”

~

Carmy didn’t take Richie’s advice. That night, he went back to his place and kicked his shoes off after locking the door behind himself. He stumbled as he headed into his bedroom. As he collapsed onto his bed, he was engulfed by the lingering smell of your perfume. Carmy rolled his body into the middle of his bed and stared at the ceiling; you should be here. 

He wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep, but he woke up in a cold sweat. He abruptly sat up and looked to his left to see your absence. Carmy closed his eyes and leaned back against his headboard. He squeezed the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before leaning over to grab his phone from his side table. 

No new text messages. No missed calls.

You always texted him ‘good morning’ when you weren’t together. Carmy huffed and dropped his phone before gazing back at the ceiling.

You woke up that morning and resisted the urge to contact Carmy. It felt wrong, but with how telling him you were pregnant had ended, some distance felt like a good idea. After getting out of bed that morning, you walked into the bathroom to shower before going to the office.

As you waited for the water to heat up, you looked at your reflection in the mirror. If you hadn’t done that blood test, you wouldn’t know you were pregnant. You put a hand on your stomach and felt it twist. Maybe Carmy had a point. Babies aren’t always- “Snap the fuck out of it, Y/N.” you scolded yourself as you tried to shake the thought of keeping it. “You are not, I repeat, NOT, ready to be a fuckin’ mother.” you thought aloud. You stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over your face, “Just forget about it today…” you mumbled as you quickly scrubbed yourself down with body wash.

You couldn’t focus at work that day. Everything made you think about Carmy. As you reached to grab your phone from your bag, there was a knock on your office door. “Come in,” you called, dropping your phone back into your bag. 

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, I have good news for you.” Your manager smiled as he entered your office. You shot him a suspicious look. “I swear it’s good news,” he said defensively, putting his hands up. We’re opening another new office in New York, and YOU are going to be in charge of it—if you want to, of course. Imagine Houston, but permanent. You’ll get a raise and housing allowance and set the whole office up however you want- your ship.” 

You were speechless, “Ryan, I-I-”

“Y/N. Take the job. Do you want to be someone in the writing and editing world? New York is where you do it. Please, just think about it. I need an answer by the end of the month.” 

~

“You talk to her?” Richie asked without looking up from his notebook. Carmy huffed in response as he pulled his chef jacket from his locker.

“No.” 

“Why not?” Richie snapped, putting his notebook on the locker area bench. 

Carmy sighed, “I don’t know what to say to her.”

“Carmen. If you’re man enough-”

“Richie, I don’t want to talk about this here.” Carmy cut him off and put his phone in his locker before walking to the kitchen. Richie rolled his eyes and pulled his phone from his pocket. If Carmy wouldn’t do anything about this, he knew some people who would. 

“CARMEN ANTHONY BERZATTO!” a blood-curdling scream came through the kitchen in the middle of dinner service. Carmy dropped his knife mid-cut and turned to see Donna standing just inside the kitchen, the swinging doors that separated the dining room from the kitchen still swinging. “I fuckin’ raised you better than this young man!” she screamed as she stomped closer to where Carmy had been cooking. Waiters and line cooks separated like the red sea as she grabbed Carmy’s bicep and pulled him through the kitchen toward the back entrance. 

“Ma- what the fuck?!” Carmy finally yelled back when the two were in the alley. 

“Why did I find out you got your little girlfriend pregnant from Heather Jerimovich?” she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest as she tapped her foot impatiently. Carmy sucked in a breath as Donna glared at him. “Well?!”

“Uh-uh-” Carmy started as he pushed up the sleeves of his chef coat; he was lost for words. He never expressly told Richie to keep all of this to himself, but the implication was there. 

“Carmen. Anthony. Berzatto. Answer me. Now.” Donna snarled as her glare intensified. Carmy breathed out and pushed his hands through his hair as he thought about explaining this situation to the mother, who hadn’t really cared about him for most of his life. 

“She doesn’t know if she wants to keep it…” Carmy answered softly, unable to look at her as he explained, “Ma- she wants to abort my kid. Okay?” Carmy’s voice trembled as he pushed his hands into his pockets and stared at his kitchen clogs. 

“What?” Donna’s voice softened as she watched Carmy shrink as he spoke. Donna knew she hadn’t been the most attentive mother but knew when her son needed her. “Com’er,” she spoke, opening her arms and beckoning Carmy for a hug. Carmy sighed and stepped into the hug, resting his forehead on her shoulder. She hugged him tightly and began rubbing gentle circles on his back. “It’s gonna be okay..”

~

You were lying in bed staring at the ceiling when you heard knocking on your door. It was almost two, and you weren’t expecting anyone—it had to be Carmy. “You can do this, Y/N… you can do this.” You hyped yourself up as you got out of bed, wrapping your comforter around you as you walked through your apartment to the front door. 

“Hey..” you said softly when you opened the door just a sliver.

“Can I come in?” Carmy asked. You felt yourself melt when your eyes met his. He was tired, and you saw the undertones of hurt and admiration as he stared back at you. You nodded and opened the door more, moving to the side to allow Carmy into your apartment. 

“I know- I know I can’t tell you want to-to do with your body.” Carmy started as soon as you’d closed the door. “Pl-please. Can we talk about the baby?” his voice cracked as he spoke. You adjusted your comforter on your shoulders as you nudged your head toward the couch.

The two of you sat on the couch awkwardly. You took a deep breath before you spoke, “Carmy… I couldn’t do it…” you tenderly spoke as you wrapped your comforter around yourself tighter. “I uh- they had to confirm I was pregnant and uh- they did, they did a sonogram… the heartbeat sounded like a horse running. I never thought I’d be one of those women, you know? I was sure I would go through with it, but when I heard the heartbeat… it was so beautiful.” you confessed. “You were saying how sometimes babies aren’t planned-”

Carmy’s sob was what cut you off midsentance. You looked up at him, and he silently reached for you. You moved closer and allowed him to pull you into his lap. “We're gonna have a baby,” Carmy murmured as he rested his forehead against yours. You grinned and pushed your fingers into Carmy’s hair.

“We’re gonna have a baby.” you confirmed, “We’re gonna have a baby…”

[doccywhomst]

old dr who whump sketch found while packing - eight after killing eva in vampire science

[sneakboots]

YOU GET IT YOU GET IT!

Some behind the scenes of AURORA from the Your Blood music video set